Reflection 12 – Gradually but Surely… But It Will Definitely Come!

We wake up every now and then to the news of the death of someone we know. It’s either someone never woke up from bed, got into an accident, or just simply died. The last two years (COVID years) have been dramatic in this regard. Probably never have we seen this massive loss recently happening so sudden. And the keyword here is SUDDEN! It’s much more difficult to deal with such events given their sudden nature. As human beings, we grapple with uncertainty and sudden events especially when it has to do with death. I think I am a unique exception to this and I‘m grateful to Allah for having ALS in that regard. So how did ALS help me deal better with death?
One of the first things I came to know about ALS that it has no cure whatsoever (well, that‘s definitely not nice!). And as much as it may sound devastating, I saw a clear message coming from Allah. No one will cure you except me. Try all possible medication and clinical trials but always remember the cure comes from Allah! As human beings, we could easily get attached to the materialistic causes and by doing so, we tend to forget where the cure actually comes from. I am of course no exception! So this would always remain as a great reminder for me.
Probably the other frightening aspect of ALS was the looming prospects of death that I was confronted with. I remember my physician at UCI back in November 2017 telling me that the expected survival time for ALS patients ranges from three to five years (so time is almost up Doc ). And as much as it may sound devastating, I began to realize by time that this was probably my greatest blessing! I was being prepared for something that will eventually take place whether I like it or not. Unlike others, I had the luxury of rethinking my priorities and getting my act together. The conversation about death became a daily habit in my talk with my wife. This allowed me to discuss with her how things can be managed after my departure. The initial fear of death began to be subdued as we would joke about it. The lens through which I saw life differed greatly and it would remain so. Although my health condition has significantly deteriorated since my diagnosis, the gradual transformation I have gone through has been a tremendous blessing!