Reflection 20 – On A More Happier Note About ALS

“Indeed with difficulty there is ease. Indeed with difficulty there is ease.”
Probably most Muslims are familiar with these two ayat. We love them and we recite them a lot as we can feel the sense of hope embedded in them. However, Quran is not only about reciting but rather internalizing and applying the lessons being told to us by Allah. So, when a calamity hits us, we need then and there to remember what we were told. And sometimes this might be very difficult to do. Numerous events in our lives might not make sense to us or are difficult to see goodness in them especially those events that fall upon us without us having a say in them. Illness (and especially terminal ones) are a case in a point. Although I know these ayat very well, I have to admit it took me some time to fully comprehend them and to be at ease with ALS. So, let me try to tell you some of the goodness that came out of this tough test that had to do with my relationships.
I believe most of my relationships, if not all, got reshaped in one way or another. My bond with my wife got closer and stronger as we both fought together this fierce battle. Of course, there were a lot of mishaps and tensions that arose along the way. Despite these difficulties, I think both of us now appreciate each other more and we realized how deeply connected we are. Our kids have definitely matured as they went through huge transformations, in which they experienced things that kids in their age don‘t normally have to deal with. Although they do miss their dad being around in most of their activities, they have learned to be more responsible and adaptive to the continuous changes. I initially returned to Egypt in 2017 to be close to my parents as they grow older and to be at their service as much as possible. Of course, the opposite happened and now they are the ones taking care of me. However, both of them despite being super worrisome, have benefited from the gradual nature of deterioration of ALS. I believe it‘s Allah’s mercy the changes were not sudden, which made both of them more acceptable and resilient in dealing with my condition. Being at home most of the time, we were able to see each other pretty regularly and spend quality time together; something that probably wouldn‘t have happened if I had my normal life. Further, my relationship with my sister has also strengthened especially in the latest period. She has demonstrated enormous sense of love and care and great concern dealing with my case and offering lots of sacrifices to help out in different ways.
Probably the biggest change in relationships that I underwent was with my friends. First of all, I have been blessed with a truly amazing set of friends. Although we do have a close and strong bond lasting for a couple of decades, the amount of love, care, concern, and support they provided is beyond imagination. And since people vary in their abilities and talents, I could easily see that first-hand. For example, some of them are the more physically active ones. They made sure to take me weekly to my physical therapy sessions at the expense of their time, jobs, and families. Others made sure to fulfill any needs or wants for my house. Still others were very keen to take my kids out and provide them with a joyful environment. And then there are those, who traveled all the way to California to visit during my stay. The list goes on and on. And then there were another set of friends, who took care of me emotionally and spiritually. These were in regular contact with me whether physically or virtually reminding me of Allah‘s blessings and making sure that I am displaying patience all along. These conversations were definitely mood boosters that helped me navigate this tough journey. And as I like to call them all, they are TRUE GEMS!