Reflection 35 – Overcoming My Fears & Abandoning My Comfort Zone

We all have our different fears that typically arise during our childhood. Our upbringing plus maybe some other genetic factors play a role. I have to admit that I never was that type of kid, who fears nothing! I tend to be pretty analytical and try to anticipate what MIGHT happen to me if I do this or that (though I changed after being married). I would say that this overcautious personality held me back from different childhood activities. One of them – – ready for this– was biking! I was born with a tumor in my upper left thigh, and whenever this tumor was inflated it would cause me pain especially if that meant sitting on those uncomfortable bike seats. Around the age of nine, this (benign) tumor was causing me lots of pain and discomfort, and I went through a surgical operation to remove it. In general, things improved afterwards although I would still get discomfort and pain every now and then even till this day! As a bike beginner, I would typically fall and my leg would hurt. The fear of falling and my excessive mental calculations of what could happen if I fall meant I never learned to ride bikes. Now, let‘s fast forward approximately 20 years.
I am living in Irvine after being accepted at UCI to do my PhD. I can confidently say the best four years of my life were my PhD years. Living in California, and especially on a university campus, typically necessitates using a bike to move from one place to the other. Of course, given my handicap, I enjoyed walking a lot . And I mean a lot!!! Anyone familiar with the UCI campus along with the neighboring housing facilities probably can relate. As I would see my colleagues and some of my professors riding their bikes smoothly around campus enjoying the Californian breeze, I simply would realize how much I am missing out. My wife tried to encourage me couple of times to try to learn but I would dismiss this idea very quickly. Again the fear of falling would overtake my mind plus now there was an embarrassment factor if someone sees me! I remained bike-illiterate (not sure whether I am making this term up or not!) until something pretty awkward happened after I moved to teach at Qatar University.
Needless to say, but Qatar is probably not the best place to ride bikes given its scorching sun and high humidity levels. During that time, I got more into different psychology literature and became more and more convinced that life is about abandoning your COMFORT ZONE as well as challenging oneself! Probably for most people reading this (and who learned to ride bikes at an early age), they might see it as a trivial thing. For me, it was really BIG! Slowly but surely, I tried to add to my life small stuff here and there to add a bit of spices to my life. Do you still want to know what is this awkward thing that happened after moving to Qatar?!
Well, on the one hand, I became adamant that I must learn how to ride bikes (it was more of a personal challenge!). But what really got me to eventually proceed with my intention was nothing more than watching my five-year old neighbor’s son fearlessly riding his tiny bike in our compound . I would see that little boy accelerating with his bike here and there jumping into sidewalks with no fear whatsoever of falling. For me, THAT WAS IT! If this young kid is doing it, then I am doing it also. And sure I did! I bought a bike and went with my coach (aka, my wife ) to learn how to ride bikes. We picked a long street with a very wide sideway and I began my training sessions.
As all of you probably know, the most difficult part is to initiate the first part while maintaining balance. Of course, I couldn‘t do it without losing balance. My wife would demonstrate for me and it would seem really easy. The moment I get on the bike, everything becomes very hard! We kept going for a couple of days with no luck. But I would not GIVE UP! I began to go by myself and keep on trying until the MAGICAL moment came and I was able to finally do it. It felt like a baby taking his first steps. I was overjoyed. It was like a heavy weight taken off my chest. The funny thing is that after you begin hitting the road, you need to know of course how to stop the bike . I used to train in a relatively steep street so that it was a bit of a challenge when I was going downhill. Fortunately enough, I never fell in any of these trials. Having written off this challenge, I had one more to go before ALS would encroach onto my life and prevent me from any further physical challenges!
I wouldn‘t say I am a person with acrophobia (fear of heights; don‘t feel weird if you are not familiar with that term because personally I just googled it now to know what it’s called ), but I‘m not really at ease around heights. In 2018,I traveled with my family to Turkey. We went to a couple of different places and we ended up in Oludeniz; this beautiful city on the Mediterranean. One of their popular activities over there is paragliding with a panoramic view on the vast green mountains along with the Mediterranean Sea. Soon after we arrived, I was determined along with my elder son to undertake this adventure! Once again, it was a way to overcome any previous fears and getting out of my comfort zone. Whereas I used to be at unease standing near the balcony edge in my six-floor apartment with my parents when I was young, I was now happily jumping off a mountain a couple of thousand meter high! And probably this was the most amazing adventure I ever experienced. Simply flying in the sky watching from way above these magnificent mountains, amazing sea, and those super-tiny creatures called human beings .
My ADVICE:
Getting out of your comfort zone does not require doing crazy stuff! Rather, it means to challenge yourself whenever you can, and maybe to have a list of things that you want to experience in your future. Try to include these untraditional activities in your life every now and then and I promise you that you will be another person and your life will evolve into a more interesting one.