Reflection 61 – Some Random (Funny) Moments From My Life… Back Then And Now

Sometimes in early 1990s.
I am used to going get a haircut along with my dad. It was like a ten-minute drive from my home. For some unknown reason, most Egyptian kids (and maybe kids in general though not sure) have to begin their lives having their hair on the side! Having it backwards at that young age was considered some sort of “No no no” behavior. And of course, I was no different! Since my dad would be with me, he would tell the guy if something additional needed to be done. One time, I can‘t remember why, my mom instead of my dad took me to get a haircut. Since It was a small shop and probably filled with men only, she waited for me outside. I got my typical haircut and we went home. Upon seeing me at home, my dad wasn’t satisfied with it and insisted it needed to be shorter. So, the following day we go again to get it fixed. Poor Me . Probably didn‘t have much of say about my hair! Anyhow. We enter the shop and my dad spoke to one of the guys there. He gave him a nice cold shower! Then the guy, in response, wanted to show my dad that he is in charge. So, he looks at me and with a very definitive voice asks me: “ مين الحما ر اللي حلقلك؟ ”. I was out of words. The problem, as you might have guessed by now, it was him!! Poor me didn’t know how to respond. The guy is waiting for an answer and trying to show my dad that he will take corrective action against the criminal. I was really embarrassed but I had to say it: “ إنت ”! But I can’t recall what happened afterwards .
Sometime in early 1999.
I am in my final high school year “Thanaweyya Aama”. I am pretty nerdy when it comes to studying. Math was, and still is, my favorite subject. I enjoyed sitting down for hours solving math problems. I used to have, I would argue, the most unique and charismatic teacher. I am very much indebted to him to all of my math skills along with other skills that began to appear when I later joined academia. I was one of his top-performing students and he loved me very much. Yet, he had a pretty sharp tongue and had no problem lashing at anyone if the situation necessitates. My best friend at school used to be with me in those private lessons along with some other friends. We were extremely close buddies and of course enjoyed having fun and laughing together. But more than that, he could mimic our teacher’s voice and style of talking much. Actually, very much . On a Saturday night, we were talking on the phone and he would keep acting exactly just like him. As for me, i was exploding in laughter. Sunday morning we have our typical weekly lesson. As usual, I take a taxi from my place in Heliopolis to Zamalek. We all meet up and the lesson starts. Somewhere during the lesson, our teacher while explaining part of the lesson, repeats the exact same words my bestie was telling me the previous night. Of course, as you would expect from two teenagers, the first thing we did was to look each other in the eyes. And that was it . Yes, we both exploded laughing. Yes, total disrespect to the old guy but we couldn’t help it. At first, he didn‘t say anything but the two of us kept laughing. His coming words would never escape me forever. So, he goes: “ م ا هو العيب مش عليكو، العيب على اللي رباكم! اللي رباكم
عاي ز يتربى”. Of course, as bad as these words were for both of us, our main issue was not to laugh again 😊. Fortunately, we are able to show some discipline and we make it till the end. After we are done, our teacher pulls me to the side and talks to me privately. He once again would tell me a statement that gets engraved in my memory till our day. He says: “ بقى إنت يا تامر، يا حيوان يا مؤدب، تعمل
كدة؟”. As years passed and I myself become a teacher, I can totally relate to his words. definitely laughing while someone is speaking is very disrespectful. And this coming from one of your beloved students adds insult to the injury! But we all learn by mistakes, who doesn‘t?!
Sometime early 2021.
I have been in Cairo now for several months after returning from Irvine, CA for my clinical trial and I am now teaching online at AUC. My voice is still pretty good. My main issue is mostly in my hands and my legs. Since it all began in my right hand, my hands have always been the most affected body part. I can barely use my phone except for some strange moves with my left thumb. So basically whenever I would talk, my wife or one of my kids would do the call and then put it on speaker and leave the phone for me.
One day, our fridge wasn‘t working properly and so we had to call customer service to get a technician. My wife hates these calls (and who doesn’t?!), and so she passes it to me. I call them and finally talk to this young lady to file a complaint. After I provided all required details, it was time to hang up. The lady on the phone was very decent and didn‘t want to hang up from her side. So, she kept telling me: “ ات فضل”. So I began doing my fancy tricks with that poor left thumb but it didn’t work. Therefore, I go: “ ل اتفضلي انتي”. To my bad luck, she was very polite and insisted I have to go first. Deep down inside, I was like “ و الله يا ستي أنا نفسي اتفضل بس مش عا رف ” 😊. I think we remained like this for a minute, but I can’t recall what finally happened. Probably either my phone fell on the ground or she hung up!
PS: This is my first time to mix English with some Arabic. شفتو الشطارة 🤣