Reflection 67 – A Very Much Needed Mentality Shift

I was asked by someone recently when was the MOMENT I became content with ALS. For this, I have to take you back in time around three years.
August 2020.
I just returned from the US after taking part in a stem cell clinical trial. For the last three years, I tried out EVERYTHING! From mainstream medicine, to osteopath, to homeopathy, to vibrations, to acupuncture. There was no door I didn’t knock. With no exception, nothing seemed to work. I got worse every day, losing more and more of my abilities. But this, I now believe, wasn‘t the MAIN problem. Rather, it was my MENTALITY! Since my diagnosis, I was too concerned and focused on only ONE thing: How and When will I be cured? All my search efforts and medical attempts were geared towards that specific goal. Nothing less than that. In fact, almost all my prayers were steered in that direction. As much as it is good of course to wish for and await the best results, it could become kind of detrimental. If you’re seeing one outcome (cure) as the only option out there, you can get easily frustrated. I couldn’t see (for a long time) any goodness in anything else other than going back to my normal life. Well, I was WRONG!
I believe two events changed that perspective. The first was a small talk I saw for Nouman Ali Khan talking about the issue of prayers (do3a2). And it was definitely different from what I was used to hearing. He said that if you look into the prayers mentioned throughout the Quran, you will find that they mostly ask Allah for patience and endurance to WITHSTAND an ongoing calamity, not to CHANGE it. A very clear example is Prophet Yunus (Peace be upon him) when he was swallowed by a whale. You would assume that his main prayer would be to go out, but rather the Quran mentions a totally different prayer:
وَذَا ٱلنُّو نِ إ ذ ذَّهَبَِ مُغََٰ ضبًۭ ا فَظَنَِّ أَن لَّن نَّقْ درَِ عَلَيْ هِ فَنَادَىَِٰ ف ى ٱلظُّلُمََٰ تِ أَن لَّّا إ لََٰهَِ إ لَّّا أَنتَِ سُبْحََٰنَكَِ إ ن ىِ كُنتُِ منَِ ل مين
ََّٰ ٱلظ This is just one example. If you skim through all other examples, you will find that Prophets and other righteous people didn‘t ask Allah for a SPECIFIC result, but rather always asked for forgiveness, mercy, and patience to overcome their calamities. Now, this is a game-changer for sure! And it really builds on a very important premise, which is that we as human beings don‘t know where goodness REALLY lies, but Allah does.
كُت بَِ عَلَيْكُمُِ ٱلْ قتَالُِ وَهُوَِ كُرْهًۭ لَّكُمِْ وَعَسَ اَٰ ىِ أَن تَكْرَهُو اِ شَيًْۭ ا وَهُوَِ خَيْ رِ لَّكُمِْ وَعَسَ اَٰ ىِ أَن تُ حبُّو اِ شَيًْۭ ا وَهُوَِ شَ رِ لَّكُمِْ وَٱللَُِّّ يَعْلَمُِ
وَأَنتُمِْ لَِّ تَعْلَمُونِ These are things probably most of us know but find difficult to internalize and live by once we are hit with a calamity! The more shocking and unpleasant a calamity is, the more difficult it becomes to see beyond it. The only thing one sees is getting rid of the calamity. Nothing else!! That was the first turning point.
The second one was the dramatic experience I had to go through last year being rushed to the ICU, having a gastronomy and tracheostomy, losing my speech altogether, and having to stay 72 days at the
ICU. I believe at that moment; I realized it can‘t get much worse (or at least so I wish!). And even if it did, I became convinced there is not much to do. As they say:
اصبروا، فإن لم تصبروا، فستصبروا
Yes, certain events in our lives we simply CAN’T change; death of a loved one, untreatable illnesses, etc. In such cases, we must remain patient whether we like it or not. Our frustration and despair won’t change anything. So, one needs to train him/herself to accept Allah‘s decrees and deal with them accordingly.
Back to the question my friend asked, I don‘t think there was one SPECIFIC moment where I became content with ALS; rather it’s a learning and gradual process that one goes through, and in doing so Allah provides him with necessary support tools to endure what they are going through.
And Allah knows best!