Reflection 70 – Naming, Shaming, And Blaming!

It really killed me to hear this!
Yesterday a lady probably in her mid-twenties contacted me and told me a brief of her story. Since her childhood she has been struggling with different health issues of fatigue and weakness. During the last ten years, she went to numerous doctors, did lots of tests, and nothing really stood out as an explanation for her health condition except Vitamin D deficiency. Some earlier doctors told her she would eventually end up in a wheelchair and won’t be able to move anymore. In other words, she would be totally dependent on those around her. That’s definitely not a nice perspective to live with; nonetheless lots of people are living with various health issues. But that is not the problem! The problem is… Well, let me backtrack a little first.
I have said this several times before, but it‘s important to repeat it. When dealing with (terminal) diseases, it’s ESSENTIAL to have the required social and emotional support. Personally, I wouldn’t have been able to survive without those around me from family, friends, and even strangers. It makes a huge difference when this support is there. Imagine the other extreme (hypothetical) example if those around you are ridiculing you, making fun of you, and belittling whatever you do. Terrible, right?! Well, it turns out this is no imaginary example, but the actual case for our lady friend. Since she was in school, she suffered from bullying because of her health condition. Her weakness made her unable to go up the stairs without using the handle on the side. She was so embarrassed that she would wait until there was no one on the staircase to be able to walk up freely. Many of those around her from close family, friends, neighbors and co-workers put her so much down with their comments. She got so upset about the idea that she would one day be fully dependent that she decided within herself to end her life if this happened! Finally, her fiancé ended their relationship because of her sickness (despite being very honest with him) in an abrupt and hurtful manner. What a disgrace!!!
Honestly, I didn’t know from where to begin when she reached out to me. Unfortunately, I can’t do much other than sharing her story with everyone hoping to end this filthy culture. What kind of culture ridicules others because of their physical disabilities?! What kind of people are we when we put people down with our comments because of something they have no say in! Is it her fault to be born like this. I am extremely disgusted and cannot fathom the idea that those close to her are not being supportive and are hurting her with their comments. Have we become so cruel that there are no signs of mercy and sympathy between us. I still can’t comprehend the fact that someone is being made fun of because of their appearance. In the Quran, Allah criticized non-Muslims for not taking care of the poor and needy and not dignifying the orphans. If this is the case for non-Muslims of that time, then how will Allah look at us if we claim to be Muslims not to mention human beings!
My Advice I Told Her:
Stop being ashamed and embarrassed from your sickness. You will never be at ease as long as you are hiding something. As for the rest of us, shame on us! Shame on us to have a religion that caters for birds and animals’ feelings while we are butchering others with our nasty words!
I never asked you to share any of my reflections, but this time PLEASE DO in hope that we gradually change such a stinky culture!