Reflection 24 – Before I Leave, I Want You To Know…

Almost two years and half ago, I was living in Irvine, california . I used to take my electrical scooter more or less everyday for a nice ride in the refreshing nature around me. I usually would end up in a certain place close to some mountains that I would stare at. During some of these instances, I initially recorded something like a will for those close to me. Now, that time has changed and my health condition has significantly changed, I feel tempted to write a will for a broader audience. But before I do, I would like to clarify a couple of things. Recently, I came across several comments from people on the Facebook page mentioning my case and saying that I am writing these reflections because I feel my days in this short life are quickly approaching. Frankly, I don‘t see this statement as being accurate. Definitely, my sickness has made me reorient myself and priorities and to feel closer to death, but I would like to remind ALL of you that our chances of dying at any point in time is exactly the same. Plus, I’m very optimistic and have high hopes in Allah to be cured and lead a new life. So, don‘t sympathize with my case and forget yourself!!
Second, I know some of the reflections have been a bit too emotional as they touch upon sensitive issues. However, my intention is not to put people into a crying mode, but rather to remind myself first as well as others of some of the conversations that need to take place within our families (even with the existence of no diseases). It is definitely much better to have these talks early on rather than finding ourselves in front of the sudden death of one of us, and having no clue what should be done next. So, I would like to seize this opportunity to at least tell everyone what I would like to have.
Many people tend to break down with the death of a beloved one, and that might be to some extent normal. However, I hope that people exhibit calmness as much as possible, and to remember the Prophetic tradition in dealing with calamities by thanking Allah for whatever He decrees and remembering that we belong to Him and to Him we shall all return. Then, I really wish from the bottom of my heart for everyone to join the funeral prayers. I have always thought that funerals are an indicator for the worthiness of a person, and Allah knows best! In doing so, remember that focus and sincerity in your prayers for the deceased person is what counts most. After prayers, I would urge everyone to follow the funeral till the burial. The burial is probably the most emotional part for everyone. Throughout my life, I have seen some actions that I hope NOT to take place in my burial. This scene should be a reminder for everyone, and therefore it is of utmost importance to keep calm and silent and to not busy yourself with your phones and the silly ring tones. This scene is where I need ALL of you to stay focused and sincere in terms of your prayers. Remember all of you will go through the same experience! One of the most important things is to stay away from mentioning certain features that you might think apply to me (Tamer was this, he was that… Leave this to Allah for his judgment!). As a matter of fact, majority of people probably reading this don’t know who I am. Yes, you might sympathize with my case and think of me pretty high, but it is Allah only who knows the REAL me! So instead, I would ask you all always to pray for me with forgiveness and mercy and to be elevated to the highest ranks in heaven.
After the burial is done, and days and weeks pass by, I will be forgotten as most of those died have been. However, what makes me happy and puts a big smile on my face is knowing that I have touched people‘s lives in (hopefully) positive ways that InshaAllah will act as an ongoing charity (sadaqa garyah) after my death. In addition, I try as I am still alive to invest in two main areas for my hereafter.
Those are both Quranic projects and water projects; through Quran is the LIFE of our hearts and through water is the LIFE of our bodies. Without any of them, we die spiritually or materialistically. Remember to give away money during your lifetime and don‘t wait for others to do that on your behalf after your death. As noumanalikhan eloquently puts it, is that when you donate money, you‘re simply switching between your accounts but it‘s still YOUR money. In other words, the money gets transferred from your dunya account to your akherah ( hereafter) account. Of course, if anyone wants to donate on my behalf, please be my guest .
As I wrap up, I hope that this message acts as a useful reminder for all of us. I don‘t really see it, as I mentioned in the beginning, as a letter from someone approaching his end but rather as someone who received a tough wake-up call and wants others to know about it. Maybe this could be a sunna hasanah (good habit) that others could imitate or produce their own version of what THEY want others to do as they depart this life. Finally, I ask Allah to forgive his slave Tamer that he knows but people don‘t know!