Reflection 25 – In Dealing With Calamities

A couple of days ago, I received a message from one of the page subscribers, who has been dealing with some sort of difficulties recently asking for my advice. The purpose was not to find a particular solution for her problem, but rather to inquire about what I would recommend as a possible way in dealing with calamities in general. Initially, I was going to write her back drawing from my ALS experience, but then I decided to put it as a reflection hoping that it would be of benefit to everyone. Of course, there are a variety of ways in dealing with such events, but I will share here what I thought really benefited me a lot. In this regard, there is probably no other place better to go to than the story of Prophet Yusuf (peace be upon him) as depicted in the Quran.
As probably most of you know, his story is filled with trials and tribulations. Beginning from his brothers conspiring to killing him at a very young age, to be thrown in a well, to being sold as a slave, to being tempted by the minister’s wife, and finally to remain in jail for several years. So if there is anyone to complain from his tough tests, then it would be him! But he never did as we will see shortly. Moreover, anyone of us would normally think that the best conducive environment for him to be brought in, would typically be with his father (who is also a Prophet!). Instead, Allah has his OWN plan for him, which might seem for the regular person as pretty illogical. LESSON: Some events in our lives might seem ridiculous and very difficult to accept or even understand in the first place. We need to humble ourselves and know for a fact that Allah has his plan sketched out for us. Sometimes, we will make sense of his plan immediately, sometimes at a later point in time, and sometimes only on the day of judgment (sorry to be the bearer of this tough news!). But the main gest of the story is, I believe, summarized in one of the last ayat towards the end of the surah. So, let’s try to explore it together and hopefully get some major takeaways from it.
وَرَفَعَ أَبَوَيْهِ عَلَى ٱلْعَرْشِ وَخَرُّوا۟ لَهُۥ سُجَّدًۭا ۖ وَقَالَ يَـٰٓأَبَتِ هَـٰذَا تَأْوِيلُ رُءْيَـٰىَ مِن قَبْلُ قَدْ جَعَلَهَا رَبِّى حَقًّۭا ۖ وَقَدْ أَحْسَنَ بِىٓ إِذْ أَخْرَجَنِى مِنَ ٱلسِّجْنِ وَجَآءَ بِكُم مِّنَ ٱلْبَدْوِ مِنۢ بَعْدِ أَن نَّزَغَ ٱلشَّيْطَـٰنُ بَيْنِى وَبَيْنَ إِخْوَتِىٓ ۚ إِنَّ رَبِّى لَطِيفٌۭ لِّمَا يَشَآءُ ۚ إِنَّهُۥ هُوَ ٱلْعَلِيمُ ٱلْحَكِيمُ ١٠٠
Then he raised his parents to the throne, and they all fell down in prostration to Joseph,1 who then said, “O my dear father! This is the interpretation of my old dream. My Lord has made it come true. He was truly kind to me when He freed me from prison, and brought you all from the desert after Satan had ignited rivalry between me and my siblings. Indeed my Lord is subtle in fulfilling what He wills. Surely He ˹alone˺ is the All-Knowing, All-Wise.” [Quran, 12:100]
After Prophet Yusuf (Peace be upon him) was reunited with his whole family in an emotional scene, he mentioned to his father three main things that wraps up his entire story of tough tests that he underwent. First, he mentions that my Lord is subtle لطيف لما يشاء What an amazing statement! So, despite all of these trials his opinion about Allah is not “Why did he do this to me?” nor “How come this is happening to me when in fact I’m a prophet, who is a son of a prophet, who in turn is a son of another prophet, who in turn is the son of the Father of all Prophets!!!” Rather, he understood early on this is the nature of life, and that Allah helps his slaves in subtle without them even noticing or making sense of what is happening around them. Be confident that Allah will have his plan played out for you and me in such gentle ways that we are not aware of. Despite the fact that we will probably be unaware of what is taking place, we HAVE to maintain our confidence in him. Who would have imagined a young boy thrown in a dark well in the outskirts of a city, would end up running the treasures of the entire country of Egypt?! STAY CALM AND REMAIN CONFIDENT. Second, as we go through these tough tests we all experience different types of pain, be it physical or emotional. Even if we talk to our close family members or friends, no one can really feel what we are experiencing. This is exactly when we need to remember that Allah is ALL Knowing العليم. He knows every small bit of pain you are going through (whether physical or emotional or both), and inshaAllah he will reward you for your patience. Don’t forget this soothing and calming feeling. Third, as we navigate through our tests, we frequently get those nasty calls from the inside “why me?” or “how is this tough test a sign of Allah‘s love to me?”. These calls despite not being legitimate are somehow natural to occur. However, this is the time when we should remind ourselves that Allah is the ALL Wise الحكيم. Nothing in his universe takes place except that it is full of wisdom (that we might not see!), because as our tests get harder it is very easy to get blinded by it from seeing any wisdom behind it. These three features, I strongly believe, should be our foundation and cornerstone when dealing with calamities.
A final interesting observation:
At the beginning of the surah, Prophet Yaqub (Jacob) mentioned a couple of important lessons to his son after he narrated to him his dream:
وَكَذَٰلِكَ يَجْتَبِيكَ رَبُّكَ وَيُعَلِّمُكَ مِن تَأْوِيلِ ٱلْأَحَادِيثِ وَيُتِمُّ نِعْمَتَهُۥ عَلَيْكَ وَعَلَىٰٓ ءَالِ يَعْقُوبَ كَمَآ أَتَمَّهَا عَلَىٰٓ أَبَوَيْكَ مِن قَبْلُ إِبْرَٰهِيمَ وَإِسْحَـٰقَ ۚ إِنَّ رَبَّكَ عَلِيمٌ حَكِيمٌۭ
And so will your Lord choose you ˹O Joseph˺, and teach you the interpretation of dreams, and perfect His favour upon you and the descendants of Jacob—˹just˺ as He once perfected it upon your forefathers, Abraham and Isaac. Surely your Lord is All-Knowing, All-Wise.” [Quran 12:6]
It is very interesting to observe that Prophet Yusuf described Allah (All Knowing, All Wise) with the exact names as his father did a couple of decades before! LESSON: Don‘t EVER belittle what you say to your kids (whether good or bad!). It can easily stick in their heads for decades