Reflection 50 – Reflecting On My Reflections

Just a few months ago, I was laying helpless in the ICU barely being able to communicate with anyone! Probably for some people, I was a lost case as they saw my health condition quickly deteriorate in a relatively short period of time. It was tough on everyone; my wife, kids, parents, family, friends and of course on me . The shock was sudden and to some extent not really expected. As I look back, I have no idea how I survived all of this if it wasn’t for Allah’s mercy and assistance, and of course the amazing support I got from everyone around me. Moving from the comfort zone of my typical daily life to a bed in ICU and having a gastronomic tube and tracheostomy forced into my body was not an easy thing. Having said that, I don‘t want to sound like a hero. But this whole experience has taught me that things we might think of as not doable are in fact DOABLE. Our human minds magnify stuff in front of our eyes that make us blind to the fact that we were created to withstand much tougher situations than we can imagine. I had to go through this tough experience to feel the blessings I am currently in! Let me tell you some of them.
Now, with the help of Tobii (eye-tracking device), I am able to not only connect with my close family and friends, but thanks God to tens of thousands of people. Something I would have never imagined just several months ago. I was always pretty sad that I had to quit my job at AUC for many reasons; one of them being loosing the interaction with my students. Nowadays, with the help of the Facebook page my dear friends created, my exposure and interaction has been extended to a much wider audience from different socio-economic backgrounds. In addition, I am still able to re-connect with my previous students which for me was a great rewarding experience, and especially those who visited me. Seeing the fruits of your labor as I listened to their journeys after AUC was extremely satisfying. The fact is that we human beings love to see quick results! And then having a floodgate of prayers from people who don‘t know me or ever seen me was another major blessing. Finally, the positive effects the reflections had on so many people was really unimaginable!
As I lay down in my bed writing this 50th reflection, I have to admit that I didn‘t see all of this coming nor did I plan for any of this. It was Allah‘s plan for me that I was getting prepared for without even noticing. I had specific plans before ALS in terms of my life and career, and Allah had his own. I think my major takeaway is that I always wanted through teaching to have a (positive) effect on others that would outlast my life. If I were to be confined within the university walls maybe I wouldn‘t have had the same exposure and effect that this new situation offered me. I will leave you with this final bit.
Hardships are tough but they mold us (hopefully) into better human beings. You really have to go through pain sometimes to appreciate what you take for granted in life. NOTHING IS FOR GRANTED! The fact that you and I live in certain blessings is ONLY due to the fact that Allah willed so, and not because we deserve it. Don‘t let your EGO overtake you. Things and situations will change drastically and everything will come and go in order to teach us all one important lesson; the only CONSTANT in this life is Allah. Otherwise, everything will change. Accordingly, we should lean on and put our full trust in Allah knowing that only good will come out of this even if we can‘t see or realize it (unfortunately not seeing the good in what is around us is very common)!