Reflection 56 – Little Did I Know!

Here we go again 🙂
It has been more than a month now since I wrote my latest reflection. I got consumed in writing daily Quranic reflections during Ramadan and now I’m trying to regain my thought process. As with anything in life, if you don’t train that much it becomes more difficult to begin the first initiative. But in any case, one needs to put some effort first. So, here we go again!
August 2020. I’m back to Egypt after almost a year and a half in Irvine, CA going through clinical trials. I left with my dear wife in May 2019 heading to the US with the assistance of a walker to return back in August 2020 on a wheelchair! It was a very emotional moment when I first saw my sister, father, nieces, and close friends. I remember bursting into tears in the airport. The idea of being dragged here and there on a wheelchair was so detrimental! As time passed, I got used to it and things got slowly easier. This was the time of Corona and lockdowns. For most people, it was an awful time ; for me it was life as usual . I remember waiting anxiously for AUC to announce whether teaching will be online or on-campus. To my delight, we would remain online for one more academic year. For me, it saved me moments of embarrassment having to be on-campus with my wheelchair and my strange decaying voice. This way, I was able to enjoy teaching while still being in contact with my students. For one year, I was able to manage teaching, go to water therapy in hospital, doing physical therapy at home, and maintaining my role as a husband, father, son, brother and a friend!
August 2021. The Corona mania is slowing down and life is moving back to normal in most parts of the world. Egypt, of course, is no exception! As news about going back on-campus is highly likely, I start to be rather sad. My voice has deteriorated significantly during the last year, and my movement has become pretty difficult; chances are I won‘t be able to resume my teaching anymore . Sad news, right?! Or at least, this is how I saw it at the time! Now that I am not teaching, I have plenty of free time. Life has taught me that as soon as you have plenty of “something”, it‘s very easy to misuse it or waste it altogether! People usually say if I just have more time, I will do so and so! But in reality, once they have more free time, they very easily not make much use of it. As probably most of you know by now I’m a big Nouman Ali Khan fan . But most of what I used to hear from him, were scattered lectures here and there. Nothing really systematic. Now, it‘s my chance to delve deep into his Bayyinah website. The website has some amazing stuff from his popular story nights (basically videos for most of the stories mentioned in the Quran), to his brief explanation of the entire Quran, and finally to his deeper look series for specific surahs in the Quran! In essence, for close to one year I would be listening to hundreds of hours of Quran explanation. It was definitely a game-changer for me .
Despite being happy for listening to all these lectures, one thing would remain bothering me. I felt I was taking in lots of amazing information and spiritual guidance that I wasn‘t able to share with anyone . At that time, my voice has deteriorated significantly and those around me would find it pretty difficult to even understand a couple of words. Plus, I wasn’t using Tobii at that time. So basically what entered my heart and brain was to remain locked inside. I felt what I was learning through his lectures was so precious and it disturbed me a lot not being able to share it with others. Little did I
know that couple of months down the road, I would be hospitalized and rushed to ICU to remain there for 72 days! Little did I know that those around me would have high doubts if I would make it or not. Little did I know that I would improve tremendously and would be able to return home and start a new (difficult) chapter of my life. Little did I know that soon afterwards, my wife‘s friend would offer to give us an additional Tobii her brother had. Little did I know that I would quickly be using it very easily to communicate with others. Little did I know that one of my best friends would suggest to me to begin writing my reflections given what I went through. Little did I know that couple of months down the road, the page would gain tens of thousands of followers. Little did I know that probably most of my reflections will be influenced one way or another by Nouman Ali Khan lectures; Quran gives you a different lens with which to look at life with and therefore changes your perspective for everything! Little did I know that couple of months after I would write my daily Ramadan reflections greatly inspired with what I was listening to all that time. Little did I know that THE YEAR I spent at home without a job, I was basically being PREPARED for what to come next . How little did I know!
Now, reflect on your personal life and SEE how little did you know .