Reflection 68 – Where My Personal Space Vanished!

I was first introduced to the term “personal space” when I began my PhD journey back in 2010. Up until that point, I have never heard that term before. Unlike our common Middle Eastern culture where we get to joke with, tap or touch a stranger out of good gesture, the same doesn’t apply to the US culture! People are very alert and cautious when dealing with others, especially strangers, making sure to observe their personal space. It’s not normal to get too close. Those were the good old days . Now, my life has changed completely. But before telling you how, I want you to imagine this hypothetical example first.
You wake up one day to find two strangers sitting in your bedroom looking at you. The moment you want to get out of bed, both are there somehow to give you a hand. Then, you head to the bathroom only to find that one of them, if not both, is checking on you every couple of minutes. Afterwards, you take a shower only to find that both are witnessing that event . As you put on your clothes, both are still there offering to help. Then, you head back to your bed to have your breakfast and one of them is sitting next to you. Ha, what do you think? Nice beginning to the day. Probably not!
I assume that you get now where I am heading with all of this. Instead of the example being hypothetical, it’s an actual one. Instead of you, it‘s lucky me! And instead of the strangers, it’s those who help me out from carers and nurses. And I forgot to tell you: it’s not just a couple of hours in the morning. Rather, it’s your entire life. Little did I know when I left the ICU last year heading back to my home that my life would change drastically from now onwards. Before going to ICU, I had only one person helping me out from eating, to bathroom, to changing, to showering. And of course, this was a gradual process that took some time for me to accept the fact that someone would be that intimate with me. And I tried to delay it as much as I can. That was all before ICU. Now, there was no time for a “gradual” transition. Suddenly I had to accept the fact that so many people will be involved in every bit of my life whether I like it or not. Of course, I thank God that I can afford to have all those people, and that they are able to do such a hectic job.
Despite being grateful, it just doesn’t feel normal!
I wish I had the luxury of my US fellows to have that precious PERSONAL SPACE